Popsicle Stick Jokes

The best part of summer is not watching your drunk friends shoot out their eyes with fireworks on the 4th of July, although that is always something to look forward to. No, the best part of the season is the food; burgers on the grill, corn on the cob, and especially popsicles.

Now I don't know about all of you, but there is nothing better than beating 100 degree weather with a refreshing red, white, and blue firecracker popsicle that makes your lips and tongue look as if you have just downed a bushel of blueberries. However, there is one thing I really hate about popsicles.

The jokes.

We all know the drill. After tearing off the wrapper you read the little words on the stick of wood that somehow, in some way, form something that resembles a joke.

Where do books sleep at night?

After your face and hands are completely sticky and covered in a mixture of high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye #6, you look down and get the answer:

Under the covers.

Here's a joke I ran into last week:

Why is it hard to iron a rhino?

Because it's all wrinkly

Who the hell writes these things? Is it the people who didn't get the job at the fortune cookie factory? Is it Dane Cook?

Apparently it's hard to iron this guy...