Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Lollipop Guild

Everyone remembers watching The Wizard of Oz as a little kid. For some people, the scariest part is the tornado scene, for others it is the one with he flying monkeys. But for a third group, the scariest scene occurs at a time when no warning of impending doom is present. This scary scene is a poorly choreographed shenanigan starring the notorious trio known as...

The Lollipop Guild!

Out of nowhere three surly-looking Lilliputians appear and begin singing and dancing like a bunch of band kids at a high school dance. Even Dorothy doesn't know what to make of them. Their hair is plastered on, their clothes are made of felt, and the waistlines on their trousers are up to their nipples.
Who are these people?
Just what the hell is a lollipop guild anyway? This colony of little people is being attacked continuously by a witch to the fricking point that they are scared to even come out of hiding when they see an outsider and you are telling me that they have nothing better to do than dance around and sing about lollipops?!?! Jesus H. Christ. You know the Lollipop Guild had been rehearsing that sketch for awhile; they just didn't pop out of the woodwork and put on an impromptu jam-session. Is this where all the Munchkinland taxes went? No wonder they are extinct.

The Lollipop Guild may be gone, but its legacy lives on.

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