Monday, April 13, 2009

Crying Children: What YOU Hate the Most

Whatever happened to the good ol' spank? You know, a kid starts acting up in the store when his parents don't buy him some sugar-loaded crap so the kid starts crying and WHAM-O the parent scoops him up and the kid's butt is so sore that he will be squirming in his carseat all the way home.

But those days are long gone, thanks to celebrities like Oprah and a bunch of idiot psychiatrists who write parenting books for the sake of making money. Now, we Americans have to put up with tantrums all over the place, because parents are afraid of their children.

100% True Story:

When I worked as a cashier at a grocery store one boy, about five years of age, in my line kept fussing and yelling about how his mother, who was purchasing groceries, was not going to have pizza for dinner when they got home. The lady had tons of groceries and this went on for a good ten minutes.

She paid and left, and I began scanning the next customer's groceries when, all of a sudden, I notice the kid is still there. He glanced up at me, saw his mother was no longer there, and let out the loudest, most bone-chilling noise I have ever heard in my life.

This is exactly what it sounded like. Play this clip on a loop to see what I had to deal with.

The mom had just left her kid there to cry! I looked back and the mom wasn't just moving a few feet away or pretending to leave; she just walked right out the entrance into the parking lot, leaving this kid for me to deal with.

It took a whole five minutes for a manager to come over and take this kid to customer service, and just as she did, the mother came back inside and the kid was bawling harder than ever. Snot flew from his nose, there was a puddle of tears on the floor, it was a catastrophe. The mother just looked at the child, ignoring the manager and I, and said sternly to the child, "I hope you learned your lesson."

Ladies and gentlemen, these crying children are spreading faster than the bird flu (which actually isn't spreading at all). They are a menace and will grow up to be a generation of whining, bitching adults who will be running our country one day. So, the next time you are in the grocery store and you see some brat whining about not getting marshmallows, do our nation a favor and give the kid a nice kick in the ass. It's a public responsibility.

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