Friday, April 17, 2009

Virginia Tech

So I am now officially a Wahoo and will be heading down to Charlottesville next year, and by confirming my intent to attend UVA and paying the deposit I am now officially a hater of all things related to Virginia Tech.

Just who do these Hokies think they are? They call UVA "snobby" and "pompous" yet none of them can even spell either of those words. They say Tech is so beautiful and the mountains in the area make it very scenic, yet none of them can even find Blacksburg on a map of Virginia. Anyways, to celebrate my hatred for Tech, here is a list of the five reasons why I hate that little dump out in Blacksburg.

5) A Hokie, no matter what any VT student/grad tells you, is a castrated turkey. They may tell you otherwise and that "Hokie" comes from a fight song the students used to sing, but it is a castrated turkey. No ifs, ands, or buts (or balls).

4) They brag about the athletic program there, but the only national championship Tech has won is in bass fishing! Plus, year after year, UVA wins more head-to-head match-ups against Tech in all sports the schools compete against each other in.

3) Contrary to what you will find on almost every single Hokie got the same thing on his or her SAT test.


2) One of VT's biggest claims to fame is that it has the largest male residence hall on the East Coast with 1000 boys living there. Why anyone would want to brag about being surrounded by 999 other sausage links I do not know, but hey, you gotta brag about something when you don't have much else going for you.

1) Tech's most famous alumnus is in jail because he hosted illegal dogfights. UVA's most famous alumni are...well, gee, I don't know where to start; Capitol Hill, Wall Street, the White House, writing The Raven and creating the genre of science fiction. Who knows?

I'll leave with a short history fact; all roads lead to Rome...but all dirt roads lead to Blacksburg, Virginia.

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