Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Phony Environmentalists

We see them every day. They lurk in the corners, waiting to see if we throw away plastic bottles. They follow us around the parking lot to see if we are driving a car that gets enough MPG's for them to be satisfied. They are a nightmare.

Over the past decade the amount of information the average American is exposed to regarding environmental concerns has skyrocketed. Sometimes, you can't even turn on the TV without seeing the NBC peacock symbol in green. Of course, this is all for the benefit of humanity. There are changes going on and nearly all signs point to we humans as the problem. However, one of the biggest consequences of this bombardment of information is the PHONY ENVIRONMENTALIST.

Typical Guy at party: Hey, what did you think of Al Gore's book An Inconvenient Truth?

Phony Environmentalist: Oh, well I'm not much of a book person.

Typical Guy: Well, did you see the movie?

Phony Environmentalist: [crickets]

Of course, at this party the phony environmentalist has already complained that the hors d'oeuvres were not organic and that the music playing is disturbing the mating habits of the treefrogs nearby. Mind you, they themselves do not know anything about frogs, they just saw it in some environmental magazine that they skimmed through.

You know where this problem starts? Hollywood.

People like Barbara Streisand and Michael Moore may say they are saving the environment, but I will bet all $62 dollars that are in my college fund that their "carbon footprints" (which is a made-up term) are twice the size of that of a whole family.

The next time you are at an outdoor mall and some college kid comes up to you and hands you a pamphlet about the "Plight of the Northwestern California Leopard Seal" take it and rip it up into pieces. Walk away and look back. He probably won't even pick up the litter that was just left on the ground.

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